Birth Story of Katia Elaine

Prologue

Our baby was due on Wednesday, July 9^th. My mom was due to fly in on July 11^th, and I was guessing the baby would come right around then. Annika was born a week after her due date (she waited until my mom and our friend Barb had arrived into town), so it seemed likely that I would go late again, or at least not early.

We had most of the supplies we needed for our planned homebirth. The thrift store sheets and towels were sterilized and bagged, and we even had our very own inflatable labor tub all set up in the bedroom (this was lots of fun for Annika). The water thermometer I had ordered for the tub hadn't arrived yet, but otherwise we had the essentials. On Saturday before the due date we cleaned the whole house, and Zac remarked that this week would be a good one to go into labor. I had a few more things I was hoping to get done before the baby came, but we were basically ready.

On Sunday, July 6^th, we went to church in the morning, spent a few hours at Sea World in the afternoon, and attended a 2-year-old's birthday party that evening. It was a busy day, but I was feeling pretty good. It had been a big day for Annika too, and she woke up a few times that night. I wound up sleeping in the guest room so I could get to her easily and not have to disturb Zac. (If you've talked to Zac in the last few months, you know he needs all the sleep he can get).

Act I

On Monday, July 7^th around 3:30 a.m. I woke up and felt my first labor contraction. It was not intense, but from experience I knew what it was. For me, early labor contractions feel somewhat like menstrual cramps that come and go in waves. I waited to see if I was going to have more, and sure enough, I did. I didn't time them, but they seemed to be spaced about 8-10 minutes apart. After a few contractions, I decided to get up and have a snack. The clock on the microwave showed it was 4 a.m. I went back to bed but I don't think I slept. The contractions seemed to be coming at regular intervals, still at least 8-10 minutes apart. I lay there and visualized my uterus squeezing and releasing. I didn't want to wake Zac yet. Remembering my 36-hour labor with Annika, I wanted him to get all the sleep he could now. Soon I heard Annika crying in the next room. A little grateful for the company, I carried her back to bed with me and snuggled sentimentally with my firstborn. Her life was about to change as much as mine was.

With Annika sleeping soundly, I lay awake until 6 or 6:30, when I decided to move to our bed so I could tell Zac I was in labor as soon as he was awake. He woke up shortly thereafter, and was surprised by the news. We had some time to lie in bed before Annika woke up, and Zac started timing contractions for me. They were around 8 minutes apart.

Soon we were all up having breakfast, and afterward I went to play with Annika while Zac cleaned up and started making arrangements to miss work. We had tried to prepare Annika for what would happen while Mommy was in labor. She had seen pictures in books and had even watched the video we have of her birth. I had told her how the mommy's uterus has to work hard to get the baby out, and how Mommy needs to relax while her uterus works. But in the real moment, Annika didn't like me asking her to settle down and be quiet during my contractions (The contractions still weren't very intense, but I wanted to get in the mindset of relaxing through them—I was also tired.) We decided we would need to get Annika out of the house. Zac took her with him to work and then to the park, while I got in bed with some books and resolved to rest while I could.

I also called Marla, our midwife, to give her a heads-up that I was in labor. As it turned out, she was at another birth that morning as the assisting midwife (midwives usually work in pairs). She asked me to keep in touch so she could arrange another backup for that birth if we needed her. She affirmed that I should try to rest as much as possible now. I enjoyed the excuse to sit around and do nothing all morning! I wasn't able to sleep, but I stayed in bed as much as I could and did some light reading (including a few glances at our name book—I still wasn't 100% sure about the name we had discussed just the night before).

Zac kept Annika out of my way in the afternoon as well. I spent some time on the computer and on the phone—I can think of at least 5 friends who learned I was in labor that day. I tried to be low key about it, since it was hard to tell whether I was going to progress or not.

Zac dropped Annika off with some friends of ours around 3 p.m. so he could come home and spend time with me. My contractions still felt about like they had all day—not too intense, and still spaced around 8 minutes apart. We enjoyed some alone time together, and then decided maybe we should try going for a walk. I was getting antsy to see whether or not my labor was going to progress. If this baby was going to come, I didn't want to be up all night . . . and if she wasn't coming yet, I hoped things would slow down enough that I could sleep tonight.

I was fairly chipper as we started our walk. My face was Zac's barometer for how I was doing in labor (he'd had LOTS of time to observe me during my labor with Annika!). If I could still keep my eyes open through the contractions, he knew they weren't too intense yet. I did note while we were walking that some of the contractions were getting harder, but they were still spaced apart at least 6 minutes, sometimes longer. They seemed to be getting less regular. We had plans to pick up Annika and bring her home around 6:30, assuming my labor wasn't progressing by then.

When we got home, Zac called Marla to give her an update. She instructed him to have me take a liquid calcium / magnesium supplement later in the evening, to help me relax and possibly get some sleep. While Zac went to Henry's to pick up the liquid cal/mag, I decided to call my mom and let her know how things were going. Again, I kept it casual: "We don't know when the baby will come . . . could be tonight, could be tomorrow, could be a few days . . .". I was really hoping it wouldn't be a few days! My mom told me, "I have a feeling this labor is going to be easier for you than it was with Annika." Of course, she promised she'd be praying for me, and I knew she would be.

Act II
Zac returned home around 6 and decided to fix dinner before going to get Annika. There was ground beef in the fridge that needed to be used, so I told him to make himself some taco meat. While we were hanging out in the kitchen, I started to notice my mood changing. Zac was being his loud, jovial self, while I was becoming more and more serious. I suddenly wanted him to be quiet, and I was irritated at his insistence that I eat something. Taco meat wasn't sounding so good to me. Suddenly my contractions were getting much more intense. I wanted some relief, so I decided to go take a warm shower. I told Zac that he'd better check in with me before heading out to pick up Annika.

Meanwhile, Zac called his mom (Kathy) to suggest that she start the 1.5 hour drive to our place. We had invited her to be present at our birth as my doula (labor support person), just as she had been at Annika's birth. She was already getting ready to leave (having gotten updates from Zac throughout the day), figuring that even if we didn't need her yet, she'd rather drive down now than in the middle of the night.

In the shower, I had to really focus on breathing out the contractions. When Zac came to check on me, I said, "You can't go. I don't want Annika here." There was no question that I was in active labor now. While Zac arranged for Annika to stay with our friends, I got in bed. Lying on my side, supported with pillows, I let out a low, relaxed moan with each contraction. I was cold from coming out of the shower, but hot under the covers. I felt the contractions all around my stomach and in my back. When Zac returned, I quietly and tersely told him what to do: "rub my back . . . lower . . . harder . . . not that hard . . .".

I wanted to be able to get in our labor tub, but Zac didn't see how he could get it filled and warm enough until we had more help around. I told him to call Marla and have her come. He got on the phone and I heard him say things like, "the contractions seem to be getting harder now," and "she's having to close her eyes and concentrate a little more." His tone was casual, and from our last experience he was likely thinking that we still had a long labor ahead of us. When he got off the phone, he said that Marla had suggested this would be a good time to give us some privacy so that I would keep progressing well. She instructed him to call back in an hour. I burst into sobs at this news. This labor was getting hard, and I wanted help now! I also knew that it would take her at least 30 minutes to drive to our place. Zac immediately called back and told Marla that I was crying, and she agreed to come.

I labored awhile longer on the bed, but the contractions were hurting so much in my back that I needed to try something else. I got up and immediately felt a huge difference. The pressure in my back was relieved, and instead I felt tremendous downward pressure in my pelvis. I knew then that my body was doing what it was supposed to do, and I should try to stay upright. I spent some time laboring on the toilet, a great position for relaxing all the pelvic muscles. Just as I had in my labor with Annika, I would stay in one position through a few contractions, then move on to something else to stay comfortable. I sometimes got down on hands-and-knees, and also spent some time on the exercise ball. All this time, Zac stayed with me and stroked my back. It was getting hard to stay relaxed at the peaks of my contractions. I know we were both ready for more help to arrive.

Kathy showed up sometime around 8:00. I have never been so happy to see my mother-in-law! (and I love my mother-in-law). She went immediately into doula mode, placing my arms over her shoulders and directing me to lean on her, while sighing with me through the contractions and reminding me firmly to keep my breathing low. I remember looking her in the eyes after a contraction and saying, "I'm so glad you're here."

Now that we had reinforcement, Zac went to work filling the labor tub. He used a hose to get it mostly full, then brought hot water to get the temperature right. It was like that classic scene of the man boiling and carting water while his wife is in labor!

I continued rotating between the toilet, the floor, and the birth ball. I was having hot and cold flashes--sweating at the peaks of my contractions, then shivering after they were done. Kathy kept a blanket ready so she could cover me during the cold flashes, then remove it when I got hot. At some point I tried lying in bed again, because I was so tired and it seemed like it would be a comfort to lie down. But as soon as I lay down I felt the contractions all in my back again, so I didn't stay down long.

Around 9 p.m., Marla showed up. He assistant, Darynee, was still on the way. She came in quietly to see how I was doing, and offered to do a vaginal check if I wanted her to. I really didn't want to know how far I was dilated—I didn't want to think about how much longer I might have to labor. The only way I had made it through that long labor with Annika was to focus on the present and not let myself think about the time. I was trying to do that now, too.

Marla went to unload her emergency supplies, Zac continued filling the tub, and I moved to labor in the glider. Suddenly I had a very strong contraction and I felt my stomach sort of lurch. Then there was a gush of fluid! "My water just broke," I called out. Zac rushed to get some towels, thinking maybe there was more fluid coming. Marla came back in to hear the news. She checked to make sure the fluid was clear, and it was. As the next contraction approached, I went immediately to my hands and knees. I was feeling incredible downward pressure. Marla said encouragingly, "that's a good position to choose—you're doing a good job." As the contraction came on, instead of moaning through it, I was tensing and grunting. Marla leaned over and asked, "Ellen, do you feel like you need to push?" I think I answered, "I feel a lot of pressure."

Marla hurried me to my bed so she could check me before my next contraction. She smiled and told me, "Not only are you 10 centimeters dilated, but I can see a head!"

I couldn't believe it was already time to push. The hard part was over! As the next contraction came, I stood up and leaned over the bed for support. It was so freeing to let my body bear down with the contractions now. I did not in any way try to push; my body was just doing it. The urge to bear down was so powerful and overwhelming—I hadn't felt anything like these contractions in the 4.5 hours that I spent pushing in my previous labor. Between contractions I was breathing hard, but also smiling and laughing that I was already this close to holding my baby. I was so surprised and delighted by how quickly I had reached this point. I had hoped for a faster labor this time, but I never dreamed it would go like this.

I can still remember just how it felt as I was giving birth to Katia. There is a burning sensation that is called the "ring of fire." I felt this, but it was not painful. I had such an adrenaline rush—I can't tell you how exciting it was to be able to feel my baby on her way out. After about 15 minutes of upright pushing, our little Katia was born at 9:35 p.m.

Meanwhile, Zac was still filling that tub almost until the final push. He could hear me grunting like a bodybuilder, but we thought that I might still want to move to the tub. Happily, there wasn't time! We were able to pass the unused labor tub along to my sister-in-law, who did get to give birth in it (you can read her beautiful birth story here.)

Act III

I never want to forget how it felt to hold Katia and see her for the first time. In some ways it was surreal, because it had all happened so fast. I can't even remember what any of us said, but I remember the feel of her warm and slippery little body in my hands. She looked and felt so small! She cried and pooped promptly after she was born. I brought her onto the bed and got her warmed up next to my skin. It took quite awhile before she wanted to nurse, and then she just wanted to sleep.

Annika also arrived home just after the birth. I had really wanted Annika to be able to witness the birth of her sister if she wanted to, but as it turned out, it was probably best that she wasn't there. Grandma and Daddy would have both been too busy helping me to guide Annika through what was happening, and having not had a nap, she might not have been able to handle it. She wasn't even able to handle meeting her sister that night, poor thing. To this day Annika still likes to ask about the vernix that was on Katia's head—apparently it was scary. She wouldn't even come close enough to say hello. I introduced her sister as Katia Elaine, and the next morning she still remembered her name. By then she had apparently forgiven her sister for coming out with vernix on her head--Annika was delighted by her.

One other anecdote I have to share: Annika noticed that the padding on the glider had been stripped, and Grandma or Daddy explained that Mommy's water broke while sitting in the glider. "We don't like for things to break," Annika kept saying.

Some more pictures . . .
Marla listening to Katia's heart and lungs


Darynee showed up just after Katia was born to help with all the work to be done after the birth.



Katia being weighed. She weighed 7 lbs 6 oz--almost a pound smaller than her sister was. She seemed so small!



First steps!

Epilogue

What did I think of my homebirth? It was perfect; I have no regrets. I am so grateful to God who designed the amazing process of birth and gave me the privilege of birthing my children, and for the people He placed in my life to support me through it. I don't know whether we'll have more children, but part of me really hopes I will get to give birth again. If not, I can say with satisfaction that I have no regrets about the decisions we made in bringing both of our girls into the world. I hope and pray that each of them will grow up to see and experience birth as a normal, beautiful process that is a gift from God.